Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Cosmicomicon Exclusive: Sneak Peak at the Grau Haus Addams Family Photo Shoot

We here at The Cosmicomicon - headquartered in the vine-ensconced confines of the Grau Haus Compound hovering ten feet above terra firma on the less hoody cusp of NorEastern L.A. - take All Hallows Eve VERY seriously.  Indeed, we live it every single day, and the blessed month of October is our time to let down our proverbial hair - and beard - and howl at the goddamn moon.

This year, in our neverending attempt to out-do the last, we decided to stop denying the obvious and fully become the Addams Family in earnest for a photoshoot tomorrow, snapped by our very dear friend, elegant horror connoisseur and ace photographer, Trever Swearingen. The family photo will serve as the invitation for our upcoming Grau Haus Halloween Party 2011, which promises to be an epic event, combining the chic and the horrific, if my Ives has anything to say about it.

So, in order to bring my end of the shoot to life as Gomez Addams, a sacrifice had to be made.
Kinda like that, but more beardy and toward the face and neck and chops
No, not a virginal maiden, as I love my daughter too much, and have had too many "Parent meetings in the bedroom" with my wife Ives for her to qualify.

It was the beard.  The goddman beard.  My "deep thought" stroking tool.  The tiny tribute to my Viking heritage.  A weak sauce homage to Bearding worldwide (with a genetic bias toward the creative Germans, Elder Gods bless 'em).

The become Gozmez, even for a day, the beard had to go.  My daughter actually wept when she saw me, sans-facial rug.  That hurt.  But, the life of artistic horror is all about hurt and tears - and sacrifice - so this bold and callous move had to be done.  It'll grow back.  I just hope my little girl's new mental scab will do the same.  The poor thing couldn't even look at me.  Chalk it up to bad parenting in the pursuit of the ideal Halloween greeting card.  Some day she'll look back and thank me.  At least I hope.  But for now, I wish I had access to this savvy salesman.

In light of the above preamble, this is how the destabilizing event went down, which of course included a bit of facial hair shenanigans in the Grau Haus Green Dali Bathroom:
I've been begging my girl for a long while to let me rock some Biker chops, but she's always said no. Judging from the huge smile on her face in this photo, I'd say there's a pretty good chance they'll be making an appearance in the very near future.
Ives calls this "The Hetfield."
I am The Naked Face Now.  All for horror's sake... Strangers glare, small children weep...  What WON'T we do in service to the Beautiful Dark?  Apparently, not much.

Look for another sneak peak, possibly tomorrow, depending on the tides, the winds, and the vagaries of photography on a Saturday night...


  1. You almost look like a bona-fide badass with those 'chops.

  2. Let me know when you are committed and fully bearded again, and I will reinstate your "Weirdo Beardo" membership, along with all the privileges that go along with being a member of this exclusive club.

  3. Marc, that's what Ives said! It's now a future option.

    Oh trust me, Shane, I'm committed RIGHT NOW. I'm popping Vitamin E like candy so this sucker grows back, as I think my moustache ate my upper lip sometime during the last 4 years, and my daughter is hiding in her room today from her naked-faced pseudo-Daddy.