Then one day, a fierce vessel crests the waterline, flying a flag both familiar yet excitingly new, cradling on deck that which you wrought from your flesh and soul, surrounded by a band of new resolute brothers and sisters, all paying fealty to a similar cause. All bound together under the banner of a New Mission.
After much waiting at the harbor docks, I'm proud and thrilled to announce the highly and long-awaited Aklonomicon has arrived in bulk at the offices of Aklo Press, carrying two of my babies, and is now ready for immediate order.
Yes, the day has finally arrived, and the uninitiated should sit straight, act right, and take note. This is a big deal, folks, as this is a BIG book with BIG names and BIG ambition, as it's not just another anthology of short fiction, its a multimedia neck kick to your quivering senses. It's fiction and art and poetry and comics and mash-ups and weirdness and terror and beauty and dread from every corner of the speculative fiction omniverse. It's Lovecraftian. It's "Big W" Weird.
It's the Aklonomicon, and few have been akin to it before, and few will be afterwards.
And now it's ready to order by clicking right here.
Where else can you get the work of such mad alchemists as Laird Barron, Richard Gavin, Simon Strantzas, Nick Gucker, Paul Carrick, Joe Pulver, JD Busch, Jordan Krall, Garrett Cook, Mike Dubisch, Edward Morris, Ivan McCann, Andrea Bonazzi, Nova McIntosh, Kristamas Klousch, Scott Nicolay, Steve Lines, Livia Llewellyn, Kirill Rozhkov, Brandi Jording, Jason Roberts, Eric Reinert, Tara Vanflower, Daniele Serra, Michael Zigerlig, Johnny Mains, Jeff Thomas, Eric York, Jacob Parmentier, Ann Koi, J Karl Bogartte, Stan Sargent, Tom Moran, David Lee Ingersoll, and Daniel Mills - all under one Dave Carson cover?
I'll answer that for you, silly samurai - You can't. That's what makes the Aklonomicon so special, and so worthy of your close, heated attention.
I was lucky enough to sneak two of my stories, "Flutes" and "In the Cave, She Sang", under the door just before lights out, and the next morning, art by Master Paul Carrick somehow managed to grow on top of each respective manuscript like a vile, gorgeous lichen. The patterns that took shape look something like this:
Read more about Paul's art for my two stories here, in Cosmicomicon cycles past.
Welp, I think you and I will both agree that I've spilled enough electronic ink onto ethery pages about this tome, as a quick search of this very blog will bare witness. My job is over. Now it's your turn to heed my advice, and warnings, and order this blasphemous creation RIGHT HERE.
Failure to do so could cost you more than you now presently know.