Gearing Up: The 2012 H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival - Los Angeles Just Two Weeks Away, with Discount Pre-Order Tickets Still Available

(Dead But) Dreaming in Pewter:  Cthulhu Pin from Queen Penguin Productions

The dawning day of the 2013 H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival Los Angeles is rapidly approaching, and as the minutes speed up, the fest is coalescing and taking a monstrous shape, building on the last two years, while also morphing and expanding, sprouting new tentacles of interest while keeping the torso strong and dangerous.

Ives and I - both sporting our team pin pictured above, so we're not confused with tourists from Des Moines who have downtown San Pedro on their Bucket List - will be serving as Guest Authors (and unofficial Balcony Hooligans) at the fest, participating in the Saturday "Brunch 'n Fun," where we will be sharing the Mythos writing and artistic stylings of Grau Haus, following the lead of our eight year old daughter in a sort of intra-family round robin.  Unlike years past, when the literary portion of the festival was limited to readings and a discussion panel, festival organizer Aaron Vanek and authorial overlord Cody Goodfellow have decided to nuance the slate, adding in an oral storytelling portion that is refreshingly old school.  Should be a good time (more detail below).

In addition, Ives and I threw our Jazz age lids into the ring as Official Screenplay Judges for HPL-LA '13.  I'm just glad that 11+ years of working as a script doctor/punch up artist/ghost re-writer for various lousy studio and indie screenplays (while unsuccessful shopping my own apparently unsellable scripted turds) is finally paying off.  These poor screenwriters from the world over (from such far-flung, exotic locales as Ireland, France, and New Jersey) must now deal with an embittered ex-script monkey-turned adjudicator bent on destroying dreams.  Those who can't - judge!

This year's crop of submitted scripts, while not showing a field as deep as 2011, has some truly excellent offerings, including one that received a Grau Haus perfect score from both of us.  The contest finalists are:

"The Crawling Chaos" by Nicholas Kubik
"House of Yhargoth" by Faye Hoerauf & Dom Zook
"Call Girl of Cthulhu" by Chris LaMartina & Jimmy George
"This Vehicle Has Been Checked for Sleeping Children" by John Burdeaux

The judges are currently working through these last four competitors, with the winner announced on Saturday night in a ceremony that had better include balloons and confetti (please note that all screenplays submitted after September 1 will be considered for 2013).

As for the films, this year's fest is plating up some of the latest and best independent shorts from around the world, including:

"Doctor Glamour" by Andrew W. Jones
"Seizures" by Nicolas Simonin
"The Music of Jo Hyeja" by Jihyun Park
"Bedtime for Timmy" by Thomas Nicol
"Cultist Co. Starter Pack" by Thomas Nicol
"GAMMA" by Jonathan Gales
"Stay at Home Dad" by Andrew Kasch, John Skipp, and Cody Goodfellow
"George Jones & the Giant Squid" by Vincenzo Perrella, Dan Osborn
"Odokuro" by Aurelio Voltaire
"The Captured Bird" by Jovanka Vuckovic
"Feed A" by Clarke Mayer
"The Artifact" by Jason Voss
"Chompers 3D" (Preview screening) by Jesse Blanchard
"Shine 3D" by Jesse Blanchard
"Space Bugs" by Jesse Blanchard
"In()Between" by José Luis Martínez Díaz
"The Shunned House" by Eric Morgret

Also screening is the full length feature film "The Thing on the Doorstep" by Tom Gliserman

The festival special guest for 2012 is Michael Reaves, a renowned writer known for scripting such series as "Batman: The Animated Series", "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and "The Twilight Zone".  He also co-edited with John Pelan the anthology (that proudly sits on my shelf) Shadows Over Baker Street, which features Sherlock Holmes stories set in the world of Lovecraft.

Mr. Reaves will receive the coveted Howie Award for his contributions to Lovecraft cinema, as he also penned "The Real Ghostbusters" famed episode "The Collect Call of Cathulhu", which is significant in that it's the first time Cthulhu appeared on television.

The still-growing roster of guests includes - but is certainly not limited to - such authors, artists, musicians, and filmmakers as Ives and I, Cody Goodfellow, Denise Dumars, Michael Tice, Bryan Thao Worra, Frank Woodward, Mike Dubisch, Andrew W. Jones, Aurelio Voltaire, David Milano, Diana Levin, Jason Voss, Hello, The Future, Natalie Ewert, Nicholas Simonin, and William (Liam) Thomas Damon.

A fantastic array of vendors will again be lining the corridors on both levels of the Warner Grand, catering to your every Lovecraftian, Weirdling, and Goth/Fez/Workworm/Fantasy Art shopping urge, including:

SighCo
Arkham Bazaar
Fez-o-Rama
Badali Jewelry Specialties
The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society
Upon a Midnight
Diana Levin Art
Perilous Press
Mike Dubisch Art

Visitors can and are encouraged to stay at the Crowne Plaza Hotel (three blocks from the Warner Grand in the historic district of San Pedro) at a discount. Use code HPL when booking online (discount only good until 8/28).  Booking a room is wise, as things get a bit nutty as the night progresses.  Selling beer and wine with popcorn and Jujyfruits at the concession stand is such beautiful thing.
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Friday, September 28

Pre-festival dinner at the Whale & Ale on Friday, from 5pm to 7pm, before the theater opens.  The menu for this specially priced dinner (only available to festival attendees) is as such:

Our famous Whale & Ale salad of mixed baby lettuces, sliced mushrooms, crumbled blue cheese,
chopped walnuts & creamy peppercorn dressing.  Irish Soda bread & sweet butter, then Penne Toscana: a house favorite: penne pasta sautéed with fresh tomato, leaf basil, chopped garlic, light marinara sauce (vegetarian), or English Fish & Chips; Icelandic cod filet deep fried in our own Bass ale beer batter, with English Chips; on the side:  lemon wedge, tartar sauce, malt vinegar & tomato ketchup, or Farmhouse Steak & Mushroom pie: diced filet mignon, simmered with quartered button mushrooms in a rich beef demi glace, topped with mashed potatoes and browned in the oven; fresh steamed vegetables, then English Sherry Trifle: traditional English sponge cake soaked in sweet sherry layered with strawberries, custard & whipped cream

Menu as above: $21 per person, inclusive of tax at 8.75%, or guests can pick any two courses for $17 per person, including tax.

This pricing and menu is available only to HP Lovecraft Festivalgoers, and is not available to the general public.

The theater schedule is as follows:

7pm-7:30 - Shopping, Mingling, Not Correlating One's Contents
7:30 - 7:40  Official Intro, Raffle
7:40-9:10  "The Thing on the Doorstep"
9:100-9:25  Break, Raffle
9:25 - 9:55   Macabre Fantasy  "Statement of Randolph Carter" (radio drama)
9:55 - 10:10  Break, Raffle
10:10 - 11:15  "South Park: The Complete Coon Trilogy"
11:15-11:30  Raffle, Shopping, Carousing
11:30- wee hours - Whale & Ale party (with happy hour specials) and Lovecraft Pub Trivia (hosted by filmmaker Frank Woodward)

Saturday, September 29

Brunch 'n Fun at the Grand Vision Annex, a few doors down from the Warner Grand Theatre.

The brunch menu will consist of eggs, bacon and/or sausage, potatoes, toast, apple or OJ, cold cereal and milk.  Rumors of a cash bar at this event fills one with mimosa wishes and Irish coffee dreams.

Card and video games will be played throughout brunch.  Be prepared for celebratory howls and good natured ribbing.

Noon-12:30 = Filing-in, seating, mastication (food served until 3pm)
12:30 - 1pm = Prayers to Cthulhu (Cody Goodfellow)
1pm - 1:45pm = Hello, The Future (musical performance)
1:45 to 2:30 = Author Readings
2:30 - 3:15 = Panel Discussion, guided by the fitting theme "cosmic horror."
3:15 - 3:40 = Oral Storytelling
3:40 - 4pm = Wind down, head out to theatre

The oral storytelling is a Portland tradition started by Scott Glancy telling "The Dog's Head Story". It involves getting up and telling a true anecdote (you can stretch the truth) about an unusual or spooky occurrence in real life... Something where, because we are into Lovecraft, we look at the real world differently.

Back at the Theater:

4pm - 4:30 = Shopping
4:30 - 4:40 = Raffle, Intro #2
4:40 - 5:25 = "Real Ghostbusters" & "Scooby-Doo"
5:25 - 5:35 = Break/Raffle
5:35 - 7:05 = Shorts Block #1
7:05 - 8:35 = dinner/shopping
8:35 - 8:45 = Howie award to Michael Reaves
8:45 - 10:15 = shorts block #2
10:15 - 10:25 = break
10:25 - 11:00 = raffle, filmmaker & screenwriter awards
11:00 - 11:30 = The Evil Clergyman
11:30 - late = Raffle/After Party at Grand Vision Annex

There will be a cash bar at the after party for the Grand Vision Annex, with complimentary dessert.

SATURDAY SHORTS SHORTS BLOCK #1 (85 minutes)
Bumper - "Five Year Old Niece Explains Cthulhu", "Wasted Land" Trailer
"Space Bugs" - 05:31
"Shine 3D"  - 02:49
"Chompers 3D" 2:30
(3D glasses will be available for these two movies)
"George Jones and Giant Squid" - 14:15
"The Artifact" - 3:49
"Music of Jo Hyeja" - 20:02
"Bedtime for Timmy" - 02:50
"The Captured Bird" - 12:13
"Doctor Glamour" - 19:31


SATURDAY SHORTS BLOCK #2 (87.5 minutes)
Bumper - "Cthulhu for President"
"Cultist Co" -  01:08
"Feed A"  -  10:51
"In Between"  - 14:45
"Gamma"  -  06:47
"Odokuro"  -  06;16
"Seizures"  - 19:16
"Stay at Home Dad"  -  15:00
"Shunned House " - 11:00


Sunday, September 30

"The Lash of St. Francis", a Lovecraft-themed scavenger hunt designed by Roselle Hurley, will run in the San Pedro Historic area.

All participants will meet at 11:30am, at either the theater or the Whale & Ale (most likely the latter).

There, they will receive directions and guidelines on the adventure. The cost is $5 per team, not per person.

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The official trailer for the 2013 H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival Los Angels is now up on Youtube, and posted for your convenience below:



See you down in the bay, Cosmicominauts and wonderful Weirdlings.  This fest should be a cornerstone of your Lovecraftian year, as it is for us.  See you all in two weeks.  Be there, or being boringly square (as opposed to interestingly non-Euclidean).

GET YOUR FRIGGIN' TICKETS HERE!!

(just in case you missed the link in the capture to the photo above, the "Elegant Aged Pewter Cthulhu Pin" from Queen Penguin Production available by clicking this Etsy link)

Publishing News: "A Late Season Snow" Accepted for Publication in 'Suction Cup Dreams: An Octopus Anthology' for Obsolescent.Info

2012 has got to be the year of the octopus.  It seems you can't avoid these slithering, majestic beasts these days, from the home and hearthy pages of Country Living to retailers like Anthropologie and Plasticland.  Etsy is blissfully littered with octopodes (that's pronounced "oc-TOP-a-dees", kids... Yeah, I had to look it up, too), while Zazzle has literally thousands of octopus designs from which to choose.  Even liquor pimps are getting in on the tentacly action (or are just big fans of Clash of the Titans), tying the oddly hilarious and always euphemistic phrase "Release the Kraken!" with sugary hangovers and half remembered drink orders that included tiny umbrellas and plenty of fruit.

I often wonder if this new cultural interest in the octopus isn't somehow tied with the often cartoonish - but fully encouraged - attention lavished on Cthulhu the last few years, which only seems to grown by the day.  Indeed, the Great Priest has made tentacles sexy to humans young and old in a way that old school Japanese erotica couldn't to all but a handful of devout raw seafood lovers.

But regardless of the reason, this squid ain't complaining, as I love the amazing little buggers, who seem so alien to this earth, but have been here longer than almost all of us, making them truly more earthly than any living thing scuttling across the dusty, dry surface.  This planet was populated by more of them and for far longer than we can even comprehend.  Oh, BTW, have you seen the vid of an octo aping its Big Uncle C and marching across dry land like it owns the joint?  Check it:



Scouting mission, obviously.  He might seem awkward moving on terra firma, but these suckers are fast learners, 400 million year survivors, and masters of camouflage.  One might be sitting next to you right now.  Check out how long they spend at the water fountain.  Anything more than five seconds and you just might have a cephalopod double agent in your midst.

Keenly on trend, an perhaps to appease the rise of our invertebrate overlords, small press obsolescent.info (not an e-publisher, but one of proper pulpy pages) founder and head dreamer David Joseph Clarke put out the request for submissions for Suction Cup Dreams: An Octopus Anthology late last year, and Ives and I answered the call.  She concocted a fabulous, extremely twisted noir fairy tale ingeniously titled "Vulgaris", which was accepted soon after submission.  As I karate chopped through a few deadlines, I put together a shorter piece titled "A Late Season Snow", which was born after an early morning vision burrowed into my head and wouldn't leave.  I don't want to give anything away, but I chased a particular image backwards until it revealed its birth, and then put fingers to keyboard.  I shoehorned my way in just as the door was closing.

This will be my first published tale that is decidedly non-Lovecraftian (tentacles notwithstanding), and hopefully hints of things to come as I venture out from Arkham more and more in the coming years.  I'm getting my sea legs, and although I will always come back home to the legend haunted shores of Kingsport and Innsmouth, I'm excited to also explore what interesting and often horrifying vistas lie over the horizon line, far removed from Lovecraft Country.  But still, you can take a boy out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the boy, so...

Aside from the honor of being in the company of a distinguished group of writers (most with whom I am unfamiliar), this also marks the first  time my beloved Ives and I will appear in a book together.  Gods, monsters, and creativity willing, this won't be the last time either, if I can hold up my end of the Devil's bargain.  Her story "Vulgaris" is a sweeping, elegant yet brutal piece that shows exactly what she can do with a quill dipped in blood.  I'm rarely awed by living writers, but I am constantly awed by her chops and ability to adapt voice and tone for the settings and characters at hand.  She's a literary tsunami bearing down on the shore.  Hard.  I suggest you all take cover.

The recently announced ToC reads as follows:

Suction Cup Dreams: An Octopus Anthology presents eleven stories about the most fascinating of marine animals, the noble octopus. Due for release in July 2012, this book is the premiere anthology of obsolescent.info and will be available at fine bookstores nationwide and online.

Table of Contents (in no particular order)

“Unearthly Pearl”, Brenda Anderson
“Daughters of Tethys”, Camille Alexa
“Empathy Evolving as a Quantum of Eight-Dimensional Perception”, Claude Lalumière
“Talk to Us”, Danna Joy Staaf
“The Octopus Garden”, D. Thomas Minton
“Three-Hearted”, Elizabeth Twist
“A Stranger Returns From An Unexpected Trip to the South China Sea”, Henry W. Ulrich
“Vulgaris”, Ives Hovanessian
“Obey the Octopus”, Joe Jablonski
“Venus of the Waves”, Karen Munro
“A Late Season Snow”, T.E. Grau

Hawk your baubles and pawn your trinkets and set aside a few shekels for this anthology, which will be available in just over a month.  It's shaping up to be a very special book for a variety of reasons.

Step lively and be kind to the reef, for these are the Days of the Octopus, and I bow humbly and willingly to our ancient cousins as they plot the reclamation of the earth.  Hopefully they'll spare those who have sympathetic literature on their shelves.  Maybe you can write off the purchase of Suction Cup Dreams: An Octopus Anthology as a new clause in your life insurance policy, filed under the subset labeled Catastrophic Global Destruction via Squishy Aquatic Ancestors.  It's definitely worth a shot.  What do you have to lose, other than everything?

Ridiculous cuteness cannot mask their ambitious intent

Preserved Brain of Those Waiting for Saturday's Rapture FOUND!

And that's actual size, folks.  Thanks to Etsy for once again bringing the goods, and the goodness gracious.

As anyone who isn't presently living under a rock, a rather rotund sexual partner, or in a northwestern Pakistani cave NOT populated by Osama's ghost already knows, questionably lucid octogenarian Harold Camping and the good, salt-of-the-earth folks at Family Radio have crunched the Biblical numbers via some not just fuzzy math, but downright BLURRY math, and come up with the exact date of the Rapture, when all the good, "right kind of" Christians will be taken up into the nimbus clouds to shuck and jive with Jesus, while the uninitiated dregs of humanity must endure The Tribulation, the brutal boot of the AntiChrist (much like the Republicans, still looking for viable candidates), and Satan's unfettered reign on this tired planet.

This Rapture, this crazy, crazy Rapture...  It's all going down on Saturday, May 21st, 2011, hopefully during or just after the monologue of the season finale of SNL (11:35 pm PST), cuz, you know, Justin Timberlake is hosting.

These Family Radio jackalopes must have missed the whole "Jesus will come like a thief in the night" part of Thessalonian scripture, and wanted to be the frontrunners of the Apocalypse.  I previously covered this puzzling - but not surprising - movement here, but wanted to give a refresher to my beloved readers of The Cosmicomicon on the Near Eve of Destruction.

But back to the mini-brains under glass...  I've been thinking of additional uses, coming up with zombie bonbons, earrings for the "so very over it" Goth Hipster in your life, and/or Christmas ornaments for your favorite neurosurgeon.  I've always been partial to the hunky Dr. Kelly Foote:

Collect the whole set!   errr.... Of tiny organs AND neurosurgeon trading cards!

Further Adventures in Speculative Home Furnishings: The Mounted Tentacle

Good Christ almighty do I love this thing.  Figures that the badass outfit Etsy - the electronic outlet mall of hand-made, fabulous, and often dark creations - would be the purveyor of such awesomeness.

It would go perfectly with the Octochair, the Octotable, the Octolife.

Speaking of the Octopus Chair by the amazing Maximo Riera, here's an updated article, that includes "making of" pics.

Oh, and here's a picture of my friend - artist, drummer, and thawed out Frost Giant Eric Reinert - prepping his taste buds for a future spiced by R'lyeh.

Octomouth - He wants to DESTROY you!